I realised something. This post college phase? It’s easier than anything to put on weight. I mean, putting on weight was always a piece of cake for me from when I was a toddler, but trust me this be different. Before, everyone around gave the warning signs – mom glaring at my burgeoning body size, rushing to the mall for new sized clothes, friends jesting about it, the boys teasing the tears out of me, the size zero classmates and colleagues and who-what not. And yet I never really FELT fat. Knowing ain’t feeling you see.
Now, the warning signs are different. Now it’s my scarred and scared body that says Whoa! What the fuck? Not again! More inches? Increasing weight? Even after all that exercise? New clothes AGAIN?
And I try cooling the racing thoughts with excuses that come easier than putting on weight – you ARE recovering from the back problem, you have JUST started easing into normal life, you can only get back to form slowly, basketball and most games you are fond of are shut to you forever, blah blah blah – the pity rant.
My body will have none of it. It seems to have got a head of its own. It replies in anger – you eat a LOT, you love chips and cheese and them ice creams, never mention potatoes and everything edible.
I finally realise what everyone meant when they said you’re metabolism catches up to you. That you can’t eat like you used to through all your teen years. That with age should come sufficient maturity to control what you hog. That when the urge hits count till 30 and think about all the fat that you work so hard to burn and all those sore and tired muscles. Or drink warm water? – this doesn’t seem to help me much though.
Some days it’s damn easy to do so.
It’s just so HARD.
Okay, okay, fruits and veggies for life.
I’d like to believe that mediation and and breathing will aid in this path. Fingers crossed.
I love swimming nowadays – there’s nothing as smooth and lovely for recovering from back problems than having a good healthy workout in the pool. It’s good my physiotherapist reminded me in stern terms that I need to swim a LOT. And it helps that I’m a natural;)
Hitting the pool now, adios!