Lost I am in the recesses of my mind;
It’s been years insurmountable;
This is the place I’ve been.
Look at the guys right there,
I too used to be one of them,
Laughing and strutting,
Showing and having a good time with my tribe;
Then came the albatross, run I should have,
Then came my days of depression and drought;
Soon..it will end! Screamed hope.
Soon..it’ll all be better bespoke my heart.
Soon..you’ll be out of misery! cried my failing hope, after a few months by.
The little I carried soon were gone,
I could have found something to do,
Work somewhere, anywhere,
Start living some life, any life,
I could have, aye.
Back then, I couldn’t.
I’d lost all that mattered, and I couldn’t fight life more.
I should have, that’s what they tell me strong men do.
It’s okay they cajoled – you’ll find another way!
Little did they understand – I’d lost my tribe.
Man’s greatest fear was mine to be,
destiny of mine it was to be,
My friends, my companions;
Just like these men standing next to me,
I too had people I called mine.
They bore me through every face and phase of mine;
It’s hard to find your perfect fit in this world;
When even that which fits, hurts;
In such a place I’d found angels to give me company;
Like every other man.
In my times of need, through pain and hardships, happiness and joy
at times of profound hurt, every facet of life – right around the bend
The sea, one day, took them far away- and I can never seem to go around the bend…
forever beyond my grip.
And yet you could ask me, why do I still live on?
Don’t the waters tempt me so?
They do, aye they do.
I sit in front of it, every single day,
and it still tempts me, twenty years after,
But in the same recesses of my mind,
There’s that little hope,
that one day I’ll have to courage and strength to move..on.
– Adhithi & Varun (photography)